I'm going to blame Mercury being retrograde for the events of the past 48 hours, but the fact doesn't change that they happened. Fans of GBBO, the show has officially been sold to Channel 4 and has a new home. And will have new judge(s). And new hosts.
I hate to shock you like that, but I was shocked, too. I'm American, so I don't know the ins and outs of British television broadcasting politics, but from what I read on the Guardian and the Daily Mail, the change between BBC and Channel 4 would be if Antiques Roadshow went from PBS to Bravo in the US (in short, the appraisers would all be having affairs with each other, passive-aggressively insinuate all the other appraisers are drunk, and the hurl priceless historical artifacts at one another 17 minutes through the program).
Because of this move, beloved hosts Mel and Sue have said they are leaving the show, which, to say the least, is a travesty. Their ever-increasing innuendo-laden banter is half of the reason we all watch the show. Their irreverent British banter adds yet another layer of ridiculousness onto a competition that is already ridiculous (there's no prize! they're all so polite to one another! they say "soggy bottom," for godssakes). And nobody (except maybe Cat Deely -- also British... is that a conspiracy?) can comfort the broken hearts of contestants better than Mel and Sue.
And to add insult to injury, Mary Berry and Paul are also on the fence about staying. I'm all for idealistic solidarity and fighting against The Man and standing up for your beliefs etc. etc. but (and I'm sorry, Stan Lee) these are my Fantastic Four. The Great British Bake Off without Mel, Sue, Mary, and Paul is just a tent with ovens.
And so, even though I literally have not even baked the first dish in this challenge, I feel compelled to hold myself accountable to Baking the Bake Off -- if not for me (and my taste buds), then for the principle of it. For the legacy of the GBBO. For posterity! For liberty! fraternity! equality! THE QUEEN IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!
Okay, maybe I got carried away, but I have been in shambles for two days over this. Consider my resolve strengthened, and be ready to witness the first technical challenge within the next few days: The Victoria Sandwich.
A personal challenge to conquer every technical challenge, and select signature bakes, from The Great British Bake Off
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